An Uncensored Look at Today’s Farming Practices
Blog Special: A first look at the cartoon picture book by Doug Baird – the captions.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your bug-zapper sounds like a popcorn machine
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when everyone you know is getting cancer.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the cows are fed on chicken poop and sawdust.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when they buy more antibiotics than a hospital.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when a part of the Dead Zone is named after them.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when their business model is a sweatshop.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when “manure spreading” means it’s spilled into the river again.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when USDA Certified means “you stupid, dumb assholes.”
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the Real Estate Disclosure Form is redacted.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the government inspectors have to make an appointment to visit.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the morning mist is herbicide.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when you’re always being told how important they are.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the lake has more warning signs than tourists.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your Bed and Breakfast is shut and closed.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when their biggest supporters live somewhere else.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the farmers and the regulators are the same people.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the public is educated to accept the pollution, rather than stop it.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when it’s a crime to film inside their sheds.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the DEC makes excuses for them.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your taxes subsidize their workers, and their workers send it out of the country.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when their image is Old MacDonald, and their attitude is Stalin.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when it keeps getting bigger, while your community gets smaller.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the hills are brown and the lakes are green.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when you have to pressure-wash your cat.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your viewscape is turkey vultures circling the offal bins.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the gases you breathe would get a toxic waste dump shut down.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when manure comes out of the tap.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your dog has asthma.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when blowflies are at the top of the food chain.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when you have to check the wind direction before you open a window.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when all the want ads are placed in another country.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your Representative won’t look you in the eye.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when a $5 million agribusiness needs a $10 million subsidy.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your grandparents have to tell the kids what nature used to be like.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the pitter-patter on your roof isn’t rain.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when you have to wash your clothes after they come off the line.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when you pay more taxes for your trailer than they do for their farm.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when you only drink organic milk, water, bottled water.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the snow-melt is brown.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when politicians pretend not to believe what they know to be true.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when their “hold harmless” argument is the Nuremburg Defense.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when relative wealth equals relative worth.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when a million gallon spill gets a $500 fine, and they consider it excessive.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when everything they do is legal because they write the laws.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the fields have no animals, and the sheds have no windows.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your brother is sick from a bacteria no one’s ever seen before.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when the county authorities won’t return your calls.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when your kids go fishing with a pool skimmer.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when it’s no laughing matter.
- You know you live near a Factory Farm, when politicians won’t kiss your blue baby.
The End